www.incontinentsupport.org

My husband and I retired in our early 70s after high-level careers that began in our early 20s. When we were young and middle-aged, our 12-hour days and brutal commute took its toll on our sex life. I reverted to bedwetting @age 25 after having been dry for 11 years. Waking up in a wet bed @0-Dark-Thirty, then having to leave it for a clean up after we got home past 7 @night was a gruesome addition to our daunting schedule. Now that we're retired we can indulge his preference for morning sex and the wet beds (his bedwetting has always been infrequent and minimal in volume) are now manageable and I'm acquiring more self-esteem in relation to that. We don't need to feel rushed anymore, and our age and ability to perform have served to empower us.

Wetters, that is very nice. Congratulations on having better intimacy despite the challenges of incontinence. It is encouraging to read a success story.

--John

Thanks for your kind words, JD. I have been trying to live my best life despite having a long history of medical and other physical stuff going on. When I began dating my husband, I had been dry thru the night for 5 years. That dry stretch lasted a total of 11 years. One Saturday afternoon early in our relationship we were watching TV in his family's living room. I needed to use the bathroom and excused myself. I was familiar with the layout of the house. I ascended a short stairway and needed to pass his bedroom on the way to the bathroom @the end of the hall. When I walked past the open door of the bedroom I noticed that his Mom had stripped his bed, but hadn't yet put clean bedding on the bed. That's when I saw the mottled dried pee rings on the mattress. I knew in that moment that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with this man. I wanted to be his champion and his soft place to fall. To validate his masculinity. As you know, the rest is history. He proposed and I said yes. 54 years this coming Wednesday. My nighttime accidents restarted four years into our marriage. I never would have guessed that I would come to rely on him for understanding and moral support much more than that which I provide to him.

Wetters, I will double my previous comment. Your words would give hope to many who despair of ever having intimacy or love because of their incontinence.

--John

JD, thanks again for your kind words. I've always tried to live a purposeful life and to make a positive difference. Now for my next challenge. I have a thyroid nodule. It was discovered a few years ago during a routine med appointment. I had a scan and the results were inconclusive. Then I forgot about it. Last month my new PCP discovered that I never followed up, and immediately scheduled an ultrasound. This procedure was different from the previous one, in that the previous one was more like an MRI, and the recent one was clear goo spread on the area and a sensor was placed and moved with moderate pressure over the area in question, much as if I were pregnant and the area was my belly. The mass is benign. I think they're just going to watch it for a while to see if it gets bigger. No talk yet about removing it. Since I don't have throat cancer, perhaps I don't need to be as concerned about the role oral sex plays in throat cancer. I'm not sure if I just dodged a bullet, though, and shouldn't push it. I want to go back to pleasuring my husband orally. And I can't put to rest my concern that swallowing ejaculate is even worse than not swallowing.

I hope everyone here had a great 4th of July. Ours was very quiet (except for my neighbors' fireworks, which are illegal where I live) and I took a break from social media for a couple of days. We cooked BBQ ribs on the grill and watched the Fox News celebration.